Dear Darkness,
You seem to be coming around more often at the moment. Today you even won. But I want you to know something: Tomorrow, I will be stronger. Tomorrow will not be a repeat of today. You see, today was just a moment in this battle, just a spec, and it will not stop me. I will win the war, one battle at a time. And I may never get rid of you completely - though I will try like to hell to do that - but even if I don’t, you will not rule me. You will not win. I just thought you should know.
WIth love.
Dear A,
You make me smile more than anyone else in my life right now. Thank you for being whatever I need you to be.
With love.
Dear You,
I’ve noticed recently that every time something or someone hurts you and you come running to me I drop everything to be there. To tell you it’s okay, or that I love you, or to just listen. And then I realised that you are one of only a few people who has known the battles I’ve been fighting and yet it’s not very often I can turn to you and know that you will stop everything for me. Maybe you have it right. Maybe you’re not supposed to drop everything for someone all the time. It’s just that it hurt when I came to that realisation. I’ll still always be there for you.
With love.
Dear You,
I just want to tell you I’ve learnt not to need you anymore. I still want you in my life, but if you aren’t (which you don’t seem to be) I’ll still be okay. At one point I didn’t think that was true. I’m filling my life with other things and other people. I’m getting better. I wish you were around to see it happen, but even if you aren’t I want you to know how thankful I am for you being there when I wasn’t at my best. You deserve to be happy, and I know that you are. Know that I’m getting there too.
With love.
Dear A,
My days don’t feel complete without a text from you.
With love.
Dear You,
I should have made a move when I had a chance. I hope you’re happy with her.
With love.
Dear You,
It’s always a strange mixture of joy and pain with you. I don’t see you often any more. We don’t speak like we used to. But every time I see you, I feel home. I feel like time has never moved and yet is going too quickly. I think I have loved you from the very beginning, but I have always known that is not what we are meant to be. You simultaneously rip my heart to pieces and put it back together again with every word you say. You have been the perfect support, the perfect best friend. And though in so many ways it hurts me, I hope that you will continue to be my best friend for a long time to come, even if that is all we will ever have.
With love.
Dear 2012,
Sorry I didn’t give you more of a chance to be better.
With love.
Dear E,
I can’t fight for you anymore. I can’t be the only one giving. I can’t keep having everything taken. I just can’t do this any longer. I’m sorry.
With love.
Dear You,
You’ve come back into my life with such force and I have become so caught up in it - in you. You simultaneously destroy me and piece me together every time we speak. There are so many things I want to tell you, but I’m not sure that I ever will. Still, you are the one person who lets me know that it’s okay to be broken. You are the one person that makes me feel like maybe I can be put back together one day. You are the one who is there for me despite all my flaws and my demons. I’m not ready to let you see all my battles, but you should know that you make my fights that much easier. I would give up everything I have in this world to know that you will always be happy. There are no words that describe how thankful I am to have you in my life. I still love you.
With love.
